foozled_up: (sunday smile)
mandy ([personal profile] foozled_up) wrote2014-01-02 11:40 am

(no subject)

My hand is a lot better, so I'll be able to be online today! I'm very excited. I have a lot of work to do for my job so I won't be on till the early evening, but I *will* so be on. I'm glad because I've been so bored and lonely without my people. I love you guys. <3

Trying to code a layout for dreamwidth is a nostalgic trip. I feel like I've been transported to before I perfected using the LJ S2 system, when I still had to mess around and beat the code to death. Dreamwidth is based off an earlier code fork, and as far as I can tell they don't focus on the layout system much, so they still have a lot of LJ's problems that they eventually ironed out. That's okay, though, because as we all know, I love beating code. I'd go to code jail, but it likes it. Psst, secret, code is a sub.

2014 is off to a quiet start so far. Things are still the same, because of course something doesn't change because a number in a year changes. A lot of people go "this year will be different!" and then get upset when it doesn't change along with the calendar. The thing is, you need to put in our own efforts, and *make* it different. A year changing isn't magic: it's inspiration, and it is what you make of it.

What's different for me so far is that I've been thinking a lot more. There are things about myself I want to change, and trying to think of resolutions means I'm realizing some things that I don't like and can change. Take better care of myself, for one. I don't always wash my clothes on time and since the year turned, I've been feeling absolutely disgusting. So a new year's resolution is to A) widen my wardrobe so it doesn't matter if I launder every day and B) until then, launder every day.

Another resolution is to take advantage of the abilify while it works. I can't just sit around and go "yay, this works!". I need to take advantage of the fact it does and start working on things that need to change. I need to work on handling my ADHD better, I need to get into talk therapy so I can handle a lot of things better. Social anxiety is a must to work on: it's interrupted my life too much, causing me to disappear for weeks on the people I love the most. I can't do that anymore. I'm tired of worrying you guys because my brain refuses to let me sign online, and I'm tired of being upset and lonely as a result. Nobody wins; I need to make it so everyone does.

Finally being diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder helps a lot, at least. It explains so much, and makes me realize I'm not a jerk: it's a barrier I need to deal with. That helps a lot, you know? And if I deal with it, it can help me in my quest to go back to school. By June, I will be back in school. It's going to happen. I'm going to go back and finish my graphic design associates degree. Then I'll have two associates and no bachelor's, but whatever, yaknow? This is what I need right now. :)

Getting back into Milliways and Ansible is a must. Handling my weight is another must. Exercising more. Making it to doctor's appointments in time. Doing one thing a day that makes me feel nice. Those are my new year's resolutions.

What about you guys? What resolutions did you make? I hope you feel optimistic about the new year, because you're wonderful and I know you can do it! 

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